I'm as Red as a Lobster :(

Mr. B and I went to the USA vs. Canada women's soccer match at Rio Tinto Stadium!

So fun!

But now I'm sorely recovering from a serious sunburn. Next time I'll try not to be an idiot and remember some sunscreen.

I hope you are having a wonderful weekend!

Speeding Through Life

While riding on the bus this week, the man sitting next to me on the window seat needed to exit the bus before me. When he said, "The next stop is my stop," I immediately started gathering my belongings to move out of his way. But after seeing me snap to attention he said, "Hey, slow down! Take it easy in life. ...Now, if there's a fire, you run. Other than that, slow down and enjoy life."

He had no idea how profound such a simple comment was to me.

Only a few people know this, but here goes....

AH! I got TWO speeding tickets on our drive home from Indiana.

I've never gotten a speeding ticket in my life. I admit, I bawled. But it was totally my fault. And on top of that, in between the two tickets I accidentally merged off I-80 and took us on a three hour detour through Denver.

OUCH!

But come on! Doesn't that scream SPEED! to you?!

It was awful. I don't ever want to make that drive again! After the two tickets, I can definitely say flying would be so much better. ...and at my rate, maybe even cheaper!

Needless to say, I've been slowing down a bit these days.

"We are all like tractors."

"We are all like tractors."

At least that's what Grandpa Bill (Mr. B's Grandfather on his mother's side) told me as we stared out from the porch of his old farm home across the vista of his hundreds of acres of corn, soy beans and tobacco.

“Oh?” I replied. Afraid to say any more in fear of bringing his drifting thoughts back to reality and losing the moment.

“We can go along with the plow of our tractor up, idling and doing no good at all, or we can put our plow to the ground and work.”

There is something simple and yet profound about wisdom shared between tired breaths from someone with muddy boots and callused and cracked hands. He is an example of work, and as such did not pontificate or chastise, he merely made an observation and his character spoke as the teacher.

Then pointing to a particular field of corn, he recounted a story of when one of his sons had sprayed 20 acres of the field with chemical that hadn't been mixed properly. He got teary-eyed as he reminisced.

"He didn't put enough chemical in the 20 acres of corn. I showed him how and set him lose, and all that work for nothing! I was so mad, and he was gonna get it. But then I remembered, I've done dumb things too. [tears] Back in the day I ran the machine to plant corn. I drove 15 acres without planting a thing."

In one afternoon he taught me the importance of work and forgiveness.

We're Just Different, That's All

I've heard the phrase "we're just too different" as an excuse for why two people couldn't get along.

In my mind I seem to repeat that phrase over and over while socializing with my in-laws and their relatives. TOO different. Not a challenge that's easily overcome. And yet it seems my life depends on doing just that right now.

My husband loves his family so much, as he should, and I love my own family. Isn't it only natural then that the one person we love more than anything else, our spouse, should love our family just as much as we do and us theirs? Why is it then that the universe seems fixed on making this the most difficult task ever attempted.

I love my husband + he loves his family = I am trying to do everything in my power to develop a relationship with people I've sudden found myself related to.

To clarify, my in-laws are great people. Really. I mean, they did raise my wonderful husband.

But we're just too different.

The scary thing is that when all of my insecurities are bubbling up during the in-law socials, I begin to question why my husband loves me and why I love him. How could he love someone who doesn't fit into his family? Someone who is just so different?

Every time I meet someone from his younger years they say, "We never thought he'd marry a girl like you!" I think they mean it as a compliment, but I always find myself feeling a little twinge of uncertainty, as though we're not a match for each other or something ridiculous like that.

After moments of insecurities or uncertainties, when I find a quiet spot alone, I often close my eyes real tight, try to relax enough to breathe again by listening to our song on repeat, and I think of the millions of times where I've melted with love in his arms and questioned not whether we're a match, but how I ever lived without him.

We were made for each other. Regardless of the fact that our families are so different, they made us who we are which brought us together.

He loves his family + he loves me more than anything else in the world + I love him more than anything else in the universe = He's all that matters to me, and I'll do anything that will make him happy.

Besides, I do have my secret weapon. The moment I have kids is the moment I develop a true shared interest with my husband's parents. Until then, I will continue doing my best to smile... even though I may have nothing to say.

We're in Indiana!

So the whole "say only nice things on this blog" may not work.

I've stared at empty posts for days trying to come up with something brilliant to write, and after a fully terrible-no-good-very-bad-day I feel like I have something to say. Let the venting begin.

Me, Mr. B, and my sister Camilla are in the middle of our two week road trip to Indiana and Chicago to visit Mr. B's folks and have some adventures. My sister has a "kinda" boyfriend here, so I guess we're here to see him too.

It's actually been a pretty good trip thus far. And I say "actually" because I am a bit surprised. I'm still not completely myself around the in-laws. Not because they are horrible people, just because I don't have much of a relationship with them yet. So everything they talk about feels so foreign to me and I tend to recoil into my protective shell. Basically I shut down.

But thanks to a bit more water under the bridge, a wonderful husband, and the company of my sister, I've been able to be mostly myself this trip.

Hopefully things will only get better with time.

Hey, I managed to keep the grumbling to a minimum. Hopefully HAPPY THOUGHTS from here on out.

Road Trip!

My sister graduated from high school {congrats!}, and as her graduation present she asked us to take her on a road trip to...........Indiana....... 

Yippee, Camilla!

Mr. B and I took turns driving the 30 HOURS!

...Camilla slept.

Indiana, here we come!